UPDATED below with yet more useless information you probably don’t want to know.

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In case you’re one of the people my mom and I haven’t called and you’re not my real life friend on facebook, here’s the deal from my OB appointment today…

1. I’m 2-3 cm dilated but my cervix is still fairly long. And no labour yet. I assume the same 50% that it was on Christmas Eve, but I didn’t ask for the details. And what does it mean if your cervix is anterior? Because mine is.

2. I’m 6 days overdue (we know my dates are correct) but she’s still very optimistic, and realistic, about my VBAC provided my pelvis will allow baby through.

3. Tomorrow morning I go for a non-stress test (pretty much just baby on the fetal monitor for 20 minutes to check movement, heart rate etc) and an ultrasound to check my fluid levels. Low amniotic fluid would indicate a failing placenta and we’d have to do something right away. If there’s no problem then we’re okay to wait another week and see what happens. (But remember, my parents have to leave…)

4. Induction with a scar is a very risky procedure so my options there are limited. The cervical gel is contraindicated due to increased risk of uterine rupture but I could have my water broken and/or have a very low level oxytocin drip if necessary. Both of which? Would completely suck.

5. My next appointment, which I’d better not freaking need, is on Tuesday, at which point we have to choose a day to have a baby if nothing happens naturally. Probably next Friday morning. I’m afraid that if that happens my parents will be unable to get back in time to be here for the boy/there for the birth because my dad will be in chemo and my mom has appointments that will tie her up for a couple of days. They can get back Friday morning but have no choice but to be gone for Tues/Weds/Thurs.

So what we really need is for my labour to begin naturally, progress “normally” and have this baby born before the weekend is over. Otherwise we’ve got some situations on our hands that we don’t want to deal with.

Why, oh why, do I have such a comfortable uterus? (That sounds totally ungrateful coming from the girl with a bazillion friends undergoing fertility treatments and I totally don’t mean it that way.)

Come out, little baby! We can’t wait to meet you!

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Update:

1. Non-stress test revealed that baby is under absolutely no stress and is happily lying on my sciatic nerve. You know, just chillin’. It did not, on the other hand, measure my stress levels.

2. Ultrasound revealed several large, healthy and colourless (i.e. meconium free) pockets of amniotic fluid - more than enough to leave baby happily in my uterus for another seven days should s/he choose not to exit voluntarily.

As per #5 above, we get to choose a day to just have a baby already. I tried to get this Sunday to alleviate any concerns about my mom caring for the boy, but my OB is off Sunday & Monday so it can’t be before Tuesday (unless it starts on it’s own, in which case I get the on call OB but they won’t induce me or schedule anything). May I remind you that Tuesday is the absolute last day my mom can leave if she takes 2 extra days of leave before having to get my dad home for chemo etc.? So we picked next Friday and just have to hope to hell that it happens before Monday or waits until Friday. What do you suppose the chances are?

So far, not so much as a cramp.