We have welcomed a new soul into our home.

Anyone watch “Big Love?” It’s good.

I call her “the bag of jello that used to be a baby” or tbojtutbab for short. That’s not very short, actually. Hmmm. Did you try to say it out loud? You did, didn’t you? I did. Let’s shorten it even further. Maybe Tboj? Tutbab? I know! B-Jub. Kind of like J-Lo, but much much flabbier.

So….B-Jub? Is big. And flabby. And takes up a lot of room in my pants and elsewhere.

And? Hangs over my incision causing a repulsive buildup of moisture in a location that should not be moist.

Ew.

I have an opening in my incision. Yes, still. Three weeks later. A gaping hole in the middle of it that should be healed but alas, is not. Partially because I’m a stubborn ass who does too much and partially because B-Jub doesn’t let it dry like it should. My nurse sister-in-law checked it out and it’s not infected. This is good. But I have to clean it and tape big hunks of gauze in the fold that shouldn’t be there. If it sounds gross? It is. Perhaps grosser (more gross?) even.

Aren’t you glad you stopped by MMTaM today?

I’m home, but completely stoned so not really able to blog much yet. I figured I’d kept you waiting long enough, though, so here’s a quick update…

Friday, January 11, 2008

7 am - water break. 3 cm dilated, 50% effaced, -3 station, anterior cervical position.

9 am - still nothing to speak of in terms of labour, and not much water either. Some concern with colour indicating possible meconium, but primarily clear after the first bit. NICU team notified, just in case.

9:30 am - start the oxytocin drip, mild labour begins.

11 am - after several increases in oxytocin, hard labour starts around this time.

11 am - 3:30 pm - contractions get way worse, but it’s really nice to experience labour the way most people do it. Like, in the front. Very painful, but NOTHING like the back labour I had with the boy. I didn’t actually hope I would die this time.

After several checks and lots of hopes, I only go from 3 cm to 4 cm dilation in 4.5 hours of hard labour. Some of you may remember that last time when I got an epidural I went from 2 cm to 10 cm in three hours. We decided to try it again. Got the epidural around 3:30 pm and two hours later there was still no progress. To make me feel good, she stretched my cervix from 4-5 since I couldn’t feel it anyway. Now I can stay I got stuck at 5 cm instead of 4 cm. Woo hoo.

Through the entire afternoon, baby’s heart rate dropped with every contraction. This is the first sign of potential uterine rupture with a VBAC, but my OB wasn’t concerned because it was only happening with the contractions and therefore was likely from head compression. Baby’s head was elbow shaped and was trying to get out even at 3 cm dilation so there was a lot of pressure there.

6 pm - with contractions getting longer and harder, baby’s heart rate drops lower and for longer periods and begins to get risky. Still no more dilation. We are given the choice to keep trying with the likely outcome of a rushed emergency cesarean when baby’s heart rate continues to drop since there’s no more dilation at all, or to go for a non-emergent cesarean a little slower and make it a little less stressful on everyone. We elect door number two and start prepping for surgery.

Strangely, I’m totally okay with this because I knew it was a risk and didn’t want to put my baby in harm’s way at all. I just wanted to say I tried, wanted to experience “normal” contractions and wanted baby to get squeezed for lung health etc. I got all that so it’s all good.

6:25 pm - We have a daughter! 7 lbs, 8 oz. & 20.5 inches of perfection.

I didn’t actually believe it until I saw a vagina. I had no preference and was 50/50 on my guesses but apparently my subconscious thought I was having a boy. In fact, I called her “he” for two days. I think it has sunk in now, though.

(I’m not publishing her name, but will have a naming contest soon. Start thinking of good e-nicknames for her and also for the boy. There will be prizes!)

So, I’m having trouble moving, my incision is weeping and I’m completely stoned on pain meds. But - I’m HOME! With two healthy kids and a fabulous husband. What more could a gal ask for?

I’ll be back when I am somewhat more coherent. I’m reading, but only while nursing so am not commenting much. I’m still contributing to your stats though - I promise!







Oh…you wanna see pictures? Okay then.

Precious nekkid baby. Such a miracle!
And such a girl. Keeping everyone waiting already.

Mama and baby having a snuggle.

Meeting her big brother who loves her uncontrollably.
So much so that he wanted to amputate her ear and take it with him to bed.
It didn’t come off, but he gave it his all. A for effort.

We leave tomorrow about 6:30 am to grab some Starbucks drive-through and head to the hospital where they will stick a glorified crochet hook up my va-jay-jay and through my 3 cm dilated for 3 weeks now cervix to poke a hole in the amniotic sac surrounding child 2.0.

I should be back to blogville - enough to tell you about baby anyway - early next week.

I’m very sad to be leaving the boy at home and have done my fair share of bawling over it, but he’s in the capable hands of both his grandmas who will be tag teaming him over the next few days along with the BG who is going to try to be home for bedtimes at the very least. In 21 months I’ve never left him for more than 9 hours and never overnight. I’ve only not put him to bed with my own two hands twice - once for a school BBQ and once to go to a friend’s house when she was fighting cancer.

So yeah, it’s going to suck but it’s for a very good reason. We get to bring home another one! Wheee!

Merci beaucoup for all the emails, prayers & positive thoughts. Y’all rock and every single word means a lot to me. Really truly.

My parents have headed home until Thursday night for my dad’s chemo and a bunch of other stuff. They stayed for over 2 weeks and it was awesome! The only way it could have been better is if we were able to give them a new grandbaby before they left. My mom cooked, cleaned, walked our dogs, did my laundry and looked after the boy. I’ve had so much rest that my feet aren’t even swollen anymore. It’s like I’m getting un-pregnant.

So now, to pay them back, I need to put a plug in it and keep this baby in until Thursday night when they get back.

Which? Would be perfect timing.

Because if baby doesn’t arrive of it’s own accord before Friday at 7 am my water gets broken. If nothing happens by 9 am I get a slight induction drip. Then if nothing happens I have a cesarean. Which could happen even if I labour because we don’t know for sure that this baby can get out through my pelvis because the boy got stuck so hard. At 42 weeks this one’s probably bigger than he was too. We’re still hoping though!

At least we know now that this baby will be born no later than Saturday, and that’s if I have another long labour. We’re going to go for Thursday night or Friday before supper.

My mother in law is coming tonight and staying until Saturday so I’ll still get some rest because she kicks butt and will help with everything. It’s great to know that no matter when everything happens the boy will have a Grandma with him when we’re not here. We have many friends who offered to help as well, and we certainly would have taken them up on it if we needed to but it’s great that we likely won’t have to. (Except Leah, who is going to have a slumber party with me at the hospital if I have to stay over Sunday night after my parents go back home. You wish you could be there, right?)

Let me leave you with some incredible cuteness. I picked the boy up a jersey on Boxing Day and yesterday my parents & I got him a new hat, ball, sticks & net for driveway/basement hockey and he’s addicted. Here’s a pic from this morning of the two biggest hockey fans I know.

And nothing.

Well, a mucous plug. Which I had never seen before and it’s actually pretty darn cool. That was Saturday at 10 am and all I’ve had since is more goo and lots of BH contractions last night. Nothing today.

I feel lots of strange pressure in my scar so I’m going to the hospital later today once we’re all showered etc, to get it checked just in case it’s not safe to labour with that tension on it.

I’ll let you know as soon as I can.

---

Update:

Didn’t go to the hospital - went to Costco instead.

What? That doesn’t make sense to you?

UPDATED below with yet more useless information you probably don’t want to know.

---

In case you’re one of the people my mom and I haven’t called and you’re not my real life friend on facebook, here’s the deal from my OB appointment today…

1. I’m 2-3 cm dilated but my cervix is still fairly long. And no labour yet. I assume the same 50% that it was on Christmas Eve, but I didn’t ask for the details. And what does it mean if your cervix is anterior? Because mine is.

2. I’m 6 days overdue (we know my dates are correct) but she’s still very optimistic, and realistic, about my VBAC provided my pelvis will allow baby through.

3. Tomorrow morning I go for a non-stress test (pretty much just baby on the fetal monitor for 20 minutes to check movement, heart rate etc) and an ultrasound to check my fluid levels. Low amniotic fluid would indicate a failing placenta and we’d have to do something right away. If there’s no problem then we’re okay to wait another week and see what happens. (But remember, my parents have to leave…)

4. Induction with a scar is a very risky procedure so my options there are limited. The cervical gel is contraindicated due to increased risk of uterine rupture but I could have my water broken and/or have a very low level oxytocin drip if necessary. Both of which? Would completely suck.

5. My next appointment, which I’d better not freaking need, is on Tuesday, at which point we have to choose a day to have a baby if nothing happens naturally. Probably next Friday morning. I’m afraid that if that happens my parents will be unable to get back in time to be here for the boy/there for the birth because my dad will be in chemo and my mom has appointments that will tie her up for a couple of days. They can get back Friday morning but have no choice but to be gone for Tues/Weds/Thurs.

So what we really need is for my labour to begin naturally, progress “normally” and have this baby born before the weekend is over. Otherwise we’ve got some situations on our hands that we don’t want to deal with.

Why, oh why, do I have such a comfortable uterus? (That sounds totally ungrateful coming from the girl with a bazillion friends undergoing fertility treatments and I totally don’t mean it that way.)

Come out, little baby! We can’t wait to meet you!

---

Update:

1. Non-stress test revealed that baby is under absolutely no stress and is happily lying on my sciatic nerve. You know, just chillin’. It did not, on the other hand, measure my stress levels.

2. Ultrasound revealed several large, healthy and colourless (i.e. meconium free) pockets of amniotic fluid - more than enough to leave baby happily in my uterus for another seven days should s/he choose not to exit voluntarily.

As per #5 above, we get to choose a day to just have a baby already. I tried to get this Sunday to alleviate any concerns about my mom caring for the boy, but my OB is off Sunday & Monday so it can’t be before Tuesday (unless it starts on it’s own, in which case I get the on call OB but they won’t induce me or schedule anything). May I remind you that Tuesday is the absolute last day my mom can leave if she takes 2 extra days of leave before having to get my dad home for chemo etc.? So we picked next Friday and just have to hope to hell that it happens before Monday or waits until Friday. What do you suppose the chances are?

So far, not so much as a cramp.

I suppose I still have four hours but what are the chances?

My mom and I took the boy swimming and then had one of his friends over for a play date today. The BG and I went out for a spicy dinner - our third date in a week and only the sixth in nearly two years.

Even though I wanted this baby out a while ago, it’s been really nice that the BG got to relax for the first 2 weeks of his vacation and super to have my mom here to help out while I have a hard time moving around and to let us get some breaks together. It’s going to suck when she has to leave on Sunday. I sure hope the baby’s out by then or we’re screwed!

I see my OB tomorrow at 1 pm so if nothing has happened by then we may have to have a non-stress test, ultrasound to check fluid levels, schedule an induction (ouch! I’m taking the epidural if I have to be induced.) or who knows what else. It’s apparently riskier to labour every day I go over because of my rather fresh scar but I will insist on at least a little labour even if baby can’t get out and I end up with a cesarean because babies need to be squeezed and all that. Plus, I don’t want to cheat. On Christmas Eve I was 1 cm dilated and 50% thinned (have I told you that before? I’m having déjà vu…) so I sure hope I’m more than that when I get there tomorrow. Actually, I hope I’m in labour or have already had the baby so I don’t have to go there at all, but you know. Anyhoo, she said she doesn’t anticipate me having any trouble getting to 10 cm easier and faster than last time because I’ve done it but it’s the passing of the baby through the pelvis that might be an issue since the boy got stuck and had to be taken out surgically so we don’t know if this one will fit properly through my gimpy bones.

Ah well. I’m past the point of being picky. I just can hardly wait to meet our baby!

Nope.

Nada.

Nothing.

I’m still here.

I’m now answering the phone “Hello, I’m still pregnant,” just so people will stop asking.

I woke up at 5 am with some mild (like, really mild) PMS type lower back stuff - similar to the way my first labour started - and that continued for 7-8 hours but is now gone. By this time in my first labour I was just 45 min away from an amniotic fluid leak in the van while out shopping for last minute things (like granny panties) and my contractions were already about 5 minutes apart and fairly strong.

Bags are packed, laundry is done, toenails are cut (heh) and all we need now is a baby. That’s my New Year’s resolution. Have a baby. Hopefully I can accomplish it sometime this year.

My brother says it must be a girl because it’s making everybody wait. What do you think?

That title is a little dramatic, but unless I go into labour now and it lasts less than 4 hours, I’m not having that New Year’s baby after all.

Oh well. January kids have the advantage in school and sports. It’s a small concession, but I’ll take it.

The BG’s grandma has been here for two weeks and leaves on the 2nd. I have another friend here that leaves tomorrow. Both were planning to meet this baby before going home.

Now please, start your voodoo labour dances already. I want to meet this baby.

In just over an hour, my due date will have come and gone with nary a contraction. Again.

Swollen purple feet, numb arms and a limp? Yes. Contractions? No.

---

No time to blog this week…you know how it is, right?

Will let you know when anything happens.

I’ve made it this far so I figure now I may as well go for the first baby in Canada for 2008 and win some stuff.

My poor kid. My hips are so sore now that I’m having trouble chasing him around so when he eats I leave him a few extra minutes when he’s done so I can rest or, you know, pee alone without worrying that he’s going to choke on his snack while I’m gone.

Apparently he’s noticing because when he asked to get out of his booster seat tonight he said “All done! Wait.”

Oops!

The birth plan is ready.

Once admitted

-Please no residents, students, trainees or other personnel in room.
(Ask me about last time if you think this is unreasonable. I’ve done my bit.)
-I’d like to eat when and what I want
-No IV – lots of liquids (I will have to have an IV access because they’re monitoring baby so carefully due to my incision.)
- Walk and move as I choose
-No continuous fetal monitoring – intermittent and a little as possible (…though I’ve been told if anything will tie me down this is it, again due to the incision. I’ll stay home as long as I can to try to avoid it all, but I did that last time and after 16 hours of labour was only 2 cm so I’m not counting on anything.)
-A squatting bar present

As long as my baby and I are doing fine, I’d like the pushing stage to be allowed to progress free of stringent time limits and to NOT be pushed into a repeat cesarean barring an actual emergency.

Pain Management

Please don’t offer me pain or sleeping medication. I’ll request it if I need it.
I will likely use massage, shower, hot-cold, acupressure/counter pressure & breathing techniques.
Please leave us alone as much as possible and let us be in tune with my labour.

Vaginal Birth (VBAC)

This is the goal!
-Room quiet and as few medical personnel as possible.
-Let my pushing be instinctive and un-timed.
-Risk a tear – no episiotomy.
-Shayne catch the baby if he wants to at the time.
-Baby skin to skin immediately and given the opportunity to nurse.
-Cord cut by dad and not clamped until it stops pulsating. Please don’t rush us.
-Weighing and measuring can wait until we all feel ready.
-No bath/drying/cleaning – we will swaddle in our own blankets and do our thing at our own pace.

Cesarean

-We don’t want this to be an option unless there’s a true emergency – we’d like to try everything else first.
-Dad present 100% of the time.
-Dad to cut the cord, and not clamped until it stops pulsating please.
- I do not want my baby to go to the NICU unless there is a health issue. The baby can either be with me in recovery to start nursing, with my husband or mother there if necessary, or can be with my husband in our room on mat-child skin to skin until I get there. (This won’t happen - it’s wishful thinking.)
-If my baby needs to be in the NICU for legitimate medical reasons and not just because of a cesarean birth, my husband would like to be in physical contact with him or her at all times and no bath is to be given. Nothing is to be done to the baby other than temperature monitoring without my consent. No supplemental feeding or soothing.

Post-Birth

-No medical contact with baby without my consent.
(not even routine procedures – please ask first)
-One of us will always be present for any procedure or test.
-Exclusive breastfeeding with no supplementation (We’d like a pump & finger feeding tube accessible for pain relief if necessary.)
-Private room if possible.
-Discharged as soon as possible – we have a lot of support at home and would rather be there.
-We will be wearing baby in the hospital as much as possible.
-No circumcision if baby is a boy.

Thanks for your assistance with the list. It looks like we’ve got it covered with a few of your additions.

Now, on to the actual process…ouch.

We’ve got a birth plan written but first I’d like to mull over your thoughts for a day or two. Later this week I’ll share my plan and you can tell me I’m a moron or brilliant or somewhere in between.

If you had (or imagine having) a cesarean the first time, as I did, due to second stage obstruction after 28 hours of excruciating back labour and 2+ hours of pushing a baby who just bounced off my pubic bone with each push (because he was posterior), would you:

a) schedule a repeat C-section?
b) go all natural VBAC with no foreseeable alternatives barring a huge emergency?
c) some other option?

Bear in mind that my recovery was not easy and it nearly killed me to have the boy in the NICU (with his dad) as “standard policy” when there was nothing wrong with him, and to be held in recovery while strangers bathed and touched my baby in various ways. I was recovered long before they’d let me go - I don’t think they believed me when I told them I could feel my legs and was ready to go until I did a supine bridge for them. One of the nurses actually said “Holy shit - she’s ready” and then it still took them what seemed like forever to wheel me back to my room.

However, also bear in mind that I don’t have a torn/stretched/scarred baby hole at this point and if I have a C-section this time I still won’t have one - which would be kind of good, no?

What kind of things did you/would you include in your birth plan?
Not that they’ll necessarily listen to many of them, but I want to include everything so they know how I feel even if they can’t do everything my way.

Think I’ve got it covered?

Hospital Packing List

For Me:

Labour clothes{sports bra, big shirt & boxers}
Pads
Toothbrush, paste & floss
Deodorant
Face washing stuff and basic make up/moisturizers.
Shower & hair supplies (shampoo & conditioner, razor, soap & puff, brush, elastics)
Box of soft Kleenex
Going home outfit & running shoes
Cell phone
Slippers
Nursing bra x2
Nursing shirt x2
Nursing pajamas
Glasses case & cleaner
Health care cards
Video & still camera, spare battery, charger
Record book & pen/pencil
CD or 2
Massager
Pillows - 2 big ones
Phone list

We’ll just have most of this in the van to grab once we’ve moved to the mat-child floor…

For Baby

Boy/Girl going home outfits including booties and hat
Blankets/Swaddler
Bathing supplies (chemical free - not using the hospital stuff)
Manicure kit
Gripe water & syringe
3 or 4 unisex sleepers
Sling
Carseat

For The Big Guy

Shorts (in case we shower)
Change of clothing
Toothbrush & paste
Book
Contact case/solution/glasses
Cell phone
Parking money

For The Room

Case of water bottles
Orange juice
Non-perishable snacks to last until visitors can bring us real food (nuts, banana chips, fruit etc., because hospital food sucks butt)

It’s our hope that we’ll be in and out so fast we won’t need this stuff, but we have to plan for a repeat casarean just in case. (That reminds me, let’s talk about the birth plan soon!)

Now the hard part…to actually find time to pack!

This, my friends, is a plea for help.

There is one month less a day until Christmas, which means there is one month and three days until this baby is due and I have nothing - and I do mean nothing - ready.

The baby will sleep in a Moses basket in our room for the first while (how old are babies when they outgrow those things?) so we’re not too worried about a crib, but we do need a safe stand for the basket because we live in a zoo. We’re borrowing a second crib from a friend and just hoping it gets here before we actually need it.

The baby’s room is not even started. I still need to steam off the horribly ugly border, prep & paint the whole room, buy a dresser with money we don’t have, move the lazyboy in there and the glider into the boy’s room and about seven hundred things I’m sure I haven’t thought of. It’s just full of my crap right now. Anyone want to buy a lovely three door armoire to make room for my kid?

Just tonight, at the urging of a friend who’s due 3 weeks after me and has already done it, I dragged the infant carrier in from the garage and took it all apart. The covers are in the washer as we speak (with Dr. Bronner’s peppermint…mmmmmm) and I’ll try to get that into the mommyvan this week. I’ve also washed my 0-6 month bin of neutral clothing this past week, but that’s absolutely it. My two slings and mei tai were in there so they’re ready to go. The clean and adorable little clothing items are downstairs in a laundry basket but to the aforementioned lack of a dresser.

I know this baby could safely & conceivably come any time now so I need to pack for the hospital for all of us, but I can’t even remember what to pack. Last time I brought SO much and didn’t regret any of it since I was there for 5 days. I wish I could remember what it all was. What did you bring that you were super glad you did? Maybe later this week, we can work on a cooperative list and then you can all email me every day asking if I packed yet to get me off my butt. Today let’s just focus on what I need to do at home. (Focus? What’s that?)

Ideas? Suggestions? Anyone remember what I did last time? (Deleting those damn archives bites me in the ass almost daily.)