Generally, when someone does something stupid it can be referred to as “Pulling a Nicole.”

The Big Guy rarely does stupid things and I do stupid things, um…with astounding regularity.

Last week while we were on vacation (which I’ll totally tell you about when I have a second to upload pics and unpack some underwear…we just got home) he had one of his rare “Nicole” moments.

We spent a lovely day at Funtasia. (Aside: My pictures are way better than the one on that site, and holy crap is that a bad website. Terrible! In this day and age, that can’t even be called a website. Anyway…) So, yeah. We spent a lovely day at Funtasia and as we were leaving I was struggling to hold Bella, my Ergo, my camera and my cell-phone holder. I finally dropped my cell phone holder (a fab little mini-purse that holds my phone, ID, a few cards and a bit of cash, eliminating the need for lugging a purse in addition to all my other crap) and my chivalrous (hah!) husband picked it up for me with an “I’ve got it” and took it to the van for me. We each buckled in a child on our respective sides of the van and headed off for our villa to barbecue supper. (Do you call it supper or dinner?) With the kids still bucked, we began to gather our plethora of crap and the BG asked “Do you have your cell phone?”

“No,” I replied. “You took it from me and I’m not sure where you put it.”

“Ummm, I think we need to go back. I think I left it on the roof of the van.”

He felt absolutely sick about it, not only because we he had potentially lost my prized phone but because we’re really broke and can’t afford to replace it. Also, there was almost $100 cash in it - my entire fun-fund for the holiday.

We drove the few kilometres from our villa parking lot back to the entrance to Funtasia, all the while watching the opposing lane and shoulder for any sign of a black leather case or a sparkly red phone. As we were turning into the parking lot, we spotted it just back from the highway. The BG jumped out of the car and grabbed it. He held it up, seemingly torn apart and empty. “Well, that didn’t take long. It’s empty.” It had literally been six or seven minutes since we had driven away with it on top of the van.

Within seconds, though, he had found my key ring (which held my van key - I was using his - and the key to our villa - which had the villa number engraved right on it - hello, 1975 called and it wants its key back) and the battery cover from my cell phone. When I finally was able to pry the torn up zipper open, I saw that every penny of my cash was still there. We never did recover the rest of the phone. It appears that it had fallen off our roof as I accelerated onto the highway and whoever left behind us ran over it, tearing up the case and crushing the phone.

So I’m down a phone, but I’m home safe with all my people. I’m not mad at all, and I never was. I’m just glad that it wasn’t me…for once.

When we moved to this house, we doubled our mortgage and reduced the size of our yard by at least 75%. It’s tough to design such a small space.

We spend a lot of time in our back yard. If we’re home, we’re playing outside 90% of the time. We really need a playground of some kind because the slide we bought Primo for his 1st birthday is way too small for him now. We’re broke but, funny enough, our kids aren’t. They have enough in their bank accounts to split the cost of a (very small not the one we want but it will have to suffice) playground.

Primo and I chose between the few (cheap) ones that would fit and ended up picking one with two slides, one that will fit Bella for the next two summers and one that will fit both kids until they are 6-8. When they’re big enough, the smaller slide flips over into a ladder. When I let the BG know that we had made a choice, he asked to see a complete plan for the yard before we make an investment and add to it. We’re also building a patio area and adding a slide to the deck over the next few years, so he wants to make sure it fits or some crap like that.

He got what he asked for.

Allow me to present the plan for our yard.

---

---

My next career should really be in landscape design, no?

We have welcomed a new soul into our home.

Anyone watch “Big Love?” It’s good.

I call her “the bag of jello that used to be a baby” or tbojtutbab for short. That’s not very short, actually. Hmmm. Did you try to say it out loud? You did, didn’t you? I did. Let’s shorten it even further. Maybe Tboj? Tutbab? I know! B-Jub. Kind of like J-Lo, but much much flabbier.

So….B-Jub? Is big. And flabby. And takes up a lot of room in my pants and elsewhere.

And? Hangs over my incision causing a repulsive buildup of moisture in a location that should not be moist.

Ew.

I have an opening in my incision. Yes, still. Three weeks later. A gaping hole in the middle of it that should be healed but alas, is not. Partially because I’m a stubborn ass who does too much and partially because B-Jub doesn’t let it dry like it should. My nurse sister-in-law checked it out and it’s not infected. This is good. But I have to clean it and tape big hunks of gauze in the fold that shouldn’t be there. If it sounds gross? It is. Perhaps grosser (more gross?) even.

Aren’t you glad you stopped by MMTaM today?

“Can you tell me when my registration is due? I didn’t receive a notice and we’d like to have both vehicles due at the same time,” I asked the nice girl at the registry counter. The BG and I were renewing the registration on the Prelude on his way back to work.

She offered to look it up in her computer using my plate number. “That plate has no records.”

Um. Shit?

“Well, that’s weird. I have my insurance right here.” The BG and I look through my files and the registration paper is from 2005-2006. Hmmmmm.

“Do you have a 2007 sticker on your plate?”

I ran outside to check, and the last sticker on my plate…

2005.

From my old Honda Accord.

Yes, shit.

Apparently when we bought my van we didn’t switch the plate over and I’ve been driving an unregistered vehicle for 2 years.

Thank God I didn’t get pulled over or in an accident. I’ve had lots of photo radar speeding tickets, but they’re just a fully automated cash cow so nobody was the wiser.

We’re all up to date now, and I’ll be writing REGISTRATION on my calendar for next year - just to make sure.

There have been far too few bulleted lists around here of late. You all know how I love the bulleted list, so we can’t have that.

Anyone know how to easily switch a two column theme to a three column theme? I want to put a column on each side. My web guru is due to have a baby any day so, though she can probably do it, I’d like to leave her alone for once. If you can help, please email me. I’m in training, so I need someone to either walk me through it or do it for me. Rest assured, however, that I’m not a complete moron. Not all the time, anyway.

Thanks to my new friend Liz at greatgreenbaby, I now have blogads on this site in addition to the other sponsors who’ve been here all along. Since they’re brand new here and currently empty, I’m going to do a draw for any of you who’d like to place a free ad for your site. To enter, email me. I’ll contact the winner via email. Thanks to Izzy for the great idea. And go check out Liz. You’ll like her!

Do two bullets count as a bulleted list?
How about when the bullets don’t show up. How disappointing is that? Crap.

Man, I lurve bulleted lists!

Now, because I know someone out there is going to help me with my column issue, and because you’re nice, I’ve got some gratuitous cuteness to brighten your Monday.

“I lurve blueberries. They’re way better than bulleted lists.”