On a recent morning, we had a play date with friends at a fabulous local park. We were playing and visiting when a little boy showed up all alone in his Incredibles pajamas and some crocs. (I know.)

He was a cute little guy with long-ish blond curls. When he was on his way to the playground, all alone, past a large, dangerous & rocky lake, one of the women who was with us said “Oh, that kid’s here again. He’s always here alone. For the last year and a half we’ve been coming here and we’ve seen him almost every time and I’ve never seen an adult with him. He just wanders home whenever he feels like it. My mom knows their family. Mom is a C.A. and dad’s a chiropractor here in town.”

He immediately approached us and stood staring at us without a word. Being a teacher, I can’t ignore a child as my friends can so I said hello.

“Hi!” he replied. “My name’s Zach.”

“Hi Zach, how are you?”

“Good,” he said, “I live right over there.”

“Where are your parents, buddy?” I asked him.

“My mom’s at work and my dad’s at home.”

“Don’t you think you should have an adult with you? You know - in case you get hurt or fall in the lake or something…” I said, thinking maybe at the very least he’d repeat that to his parents at some point and they’d clue in.

He went on to play randomly with various children. At one point he was under the slide with our kids and I could see him talking to them and look occasionally over at us. I didn’t know what he was saying but my mommy-instinct combined with my teacher-instinct kicked in. “Zach,” I said, “You need to either use your best manners or stay away from the smaller kids please.”

“I’ll NEVER stay away from those kids!” he screamed at me.

“Oh yes you will if I say you will, kiddo. You have two choices - use your best manners or play elsewhere. Now.” Mommy off. Teacher on. If nobody else is going to discipline this kid, I sure will. Particularly if he’s playing with my son. Surprisingly his behaviour turned around for a little while. All the poor kid needs are some boundaries. And supervision.

I wasn’t sure how to handle the situation with Primo. Luckily, he just moved on and played with his buddies again, but had he pursued playing with Zach, I would have wanted to say something to the effect of “We don’t play with children like that. We choose friends who have manners and respect other people.” I don’t know what I would have said. I want to teach my children while they’re young that they have the power to make choices but I also want to make some choices for them because it’s easier.

A few minutes later, he announced that he was going home (again, past a large, dangerous & rocky lake), and looked right at our group of moms on the grass when he pointed at the playground and said “You guys had better NOT wreck this park.”

“We won’t, Pal, but it’s not yours.”

“Yes it is. My mom made it and you better not wreck it.”

“It’s not yours.” I so can’t keep my mouth shut with this kid. It’s my duty to teach him something. Heh. “It belongs to everyone, but we won’t wreck it so don’t worry. Why don’t you go home and ask your dad to come back and play with you?”

He came back not long after he got home - alone again - but played much better than he had the first time. Unfortunately, when I look into the future I see a child that’s going to be a little fart when he gets to school because he’s had relatively little parenting and will be screaming for attention. These are the kids that need the love of a teacher even more than the kids of parents like us, and now that I’m a mother I hope that I’ll recognize those needs in my students to an even greater extent than I did before. Before I was a parent, I loved children and respected their individuality and was the best teacher I knew how to be. Now, I am all that but they’re also all somebody’s baby. Somebody’s world. Somebody’s heart walking outside their body. Even this little guy - a child of two educated professionals who should have a lot more common sense - is likely the light of their life.

I want to call child welfare, though I know they won’t do anything about it. I want it to be on file in case something ever does happen. It’s neglect, pure and simple. I’d like to give his parents the benefit of the doubt. Maybe his dad was washing dishes and could see him out the kitchen window? Even so, if he were to fall and hit his head on a rock, he could be dead in the lake before his dad could get there or perhaps before he even noticed.

Would you call child welfare to report the lack of supervision? What, if anything, would you have said to Zach? To Primo?

I was at the mall a few days ago - just me and the kids - and was feeding Primo some organic cookies and milk while we sang songs. I was pointing out things like signs that try to get kids to spend more money, licensed character items that are fun but give money to the wrong people, things that are recyclable, things that could potentially have lead, BPA or other toxins in them and other things that we talk about in our family on a regular basis.

Yes, he’s only two, but it’s normal conversation for him.

I didn’t notice the petite lady following us through the stores until she spoke.

She said,

“I’ve been walking behind you for several minutes now and I hope you don’t mind my commenting on your parenting. I can tell from watching you that you are a very loving and conscientious mother. Your son is so smart and your children are lucky to have such a great role model. I bet you didn’t circumcise him either. Did you?”

I smiled, giggled a little, said “Thank you very much, and no, we didn’t.”

I was a little flattered and a little weirded out.

I’m pretty sure that’s the only time a stranger has commented on or asked about my kid’s penis.

What’s the weirdest thing a stranger has ever talked to you about?

While we’re on the subject, I’ve re-opened comments on this post, just for shits n’ giggles.

Comments are now closed on the kiddie naming contest. The Big Guy and I will deliberate and get back to you. Thanks to all who entered!

My poor little nameless boy has gone from four months of cutting eye teeth directly into the two year molar. I’ve seriously never met a kid who’s teeth hurt so much. He’s up for hours every night in pain and has literally devoured his headboard. It got so bad he was spitting wood chunks onto the floor so I covered it with many layers of duct tape. So he spent a week spitting duct tape onto the floor and is now down to the wood again. Even the heaviest of pediatric OTC drugs don’t work for him. The homeopathic ones don’t touch it. I sure hope his are through before the little girl starts teething!

I have got to take a picture of that headboard. It’s ridiculous.

We took our weekly cruise around Costco today with friends & their kids. Then we were stupid or delusional enough to think that taking three toddlers and three babies with only three moms to a restaurant for lunch was a good idea. Duh. It was actually fun, but the boy’s mouth was so sore and he was so overtired that he was a bit of a crankpot by the end. The girl slept all morning while my boobs were bursting at the seams and then, as Murphy’s Law states she would, she woke up hungry just as the boy’s food arrived. Thank God I had friends there who could help him while I fed her. It was a gong show, but a fun gong show with friends in the same situation so it’s all good.

There was a couple in their mid-fifties or so at a table not far away with a girl in her late teens or early twenties. I saw them looking at us often and didn’t have time to try to read the expressions on their faces, what with the aforementioned gong show happening all around me. Nor did I care if they didn’t like me nursing my baby at the table (quite possible flashing a boob while I tried to stab pancakes with the boy’s fork, but probably not). When they were about to leave the restaurant, the mother came over to our table and asked if she could speak with us. We, of course, said yes. She told us that we all looked like wonderful young mothers and that when she saw my daughter latch on to my breast so readily it brought back great memories for her. She said it was so nice to see us all out together and she was really glad we were doing it because it goes so quickly and we must enjoy it. She was there taking her youngest daughter to lunch. She’s currently in college and was once the tiny baby nursing in a restaurant.

I hope some nice lady was as encouraging to her as this woman was to us. The next time you see a young mother nursing or just mothering well in public, please compliment her. It feels awesome.

Sure, it sounds like I’m a spoiled brat. And I am - kind of. I think it’s important to get what you want when you can, don’t you? I mean, really, as long as our basic needs are met we don’t really need anything else, but I prefer a lifestyle of getting what I want without going into debt. As in, the cheap version of what I’d really like to have.

Before we moved, we sold and gave away a lot of things that we didn’t think needed to come with us. The big screen TV (buying new & bigger for this place), the washer & dryer (got a set with this house), the table (it sucked - getting a new one) and the water cooler (have a purifier here). Less to move makes everyone happy.

Yesterday, after we finally got the painfully small cheque that’s remaining from the sale of our old house, we went out to buy a new table. Our criteria were…dark wood - preferably espresso stain, 6 chairs and at least 1 leaf. We found a few but the best one was a Leon’s. It was the best because it was the last one so it was on clearance. No warranty, no nothing - but it was cheap. We went to a few other stores to compare and ended up back at Leon’s.

Backing up a bit. The first time we were in there, we were bombarded by a commissioned male sales person who actually said something to the effect of “Can you please take my card because we’re not paid by the hour.”

If you know me, you know I HATE commissioned sales for the most part but good salespeople don’t give away that they’re on commission and just give great service without being annoying little parasites. This guy would not leave. He was stuck to my ass like gum from the bleachers. So, when I went back in by myself (the BG and the boy waited in the van because I’m the shopper among us and the boy was SO ready to get home) I went to another girl and tried to buy it on the sly. The original sales person, let’s call him “Brad” for the sake of the story (and because that’s his name so Shirley just wouldn’t work), comes running over…”Here I am! Here I am!” I grimace grin and try not to show my annoyance.

Me: Hi again. I’m going to buy that table.

“Brad”: Oh great! (Barely containing his giddiness.)

Me: Is delivery included?

(Note: Leon’s offers free delivery on everything but clearance items. I knew that, but like the title of this post says…)

“Brad”: No, it’s not.

Me: Well, how much is it?

“Brad”: It’s $79.

Me: Okay, never mind then.

At this point, me and my weekend flip flops start walking quickly out of the store.

“Brad”: Wait! I can see if I can get the charge waived!

Me: Okay. If it’s waived, you’ve made a sale. If it’s not waived or just reduced, I’m off to Ashley Furniture to buy the other one we like.

(Note: I would not buy from Ashley furniture because their salespeople are like barnacles on parasites. Hate is not a strong enough word. Why do they not train people to say “Hi! Can I help you find something” No? Okay, just let me know if I can help you.” And then WALK THE HELL AWAY!)

“Brad”: I have to ask my manager. They have policies and I have no say in them.

Me: Alrighty then.

“Brad” coming out from the back room: It’s waived!

Me: Then you’ve made a sale. Congratulations.

Brad puts a sold sign on the table…blah, blah, blah…reminds me that there’s no warranty, no return, no exchange etc…

Me: Yep, that’s fine. But if it’s not in this condition when it’s delivered I’ll be pissed and you and a whole lot of other people will know it and I will get my money back or have it repaired free of charge.

“Brad”: Just call if anything happens ma’am. The delivery guys are usually pretty good but nobody’s perfect.

Me: I will definitely call if something happens. You understand by now that I always get what I want, don’t you.

“Brad”: Yes ma’am. I sure do!

So, the lessons I’d like to leave you with today are…

1. You CAN get a better deal if you feel like you deserve it. Particularly if your salesperson is on commission and desperate to make a sale. If you can’t, walk away. Chances are, they’ll chase you. If they don’t, take your hard earned money elsewhere.

2. If you are a salesperson in a retail store, commissioned or not, greet everyone who comes in to your store within 1 minute. Greet them with a simple “Hello! Is there anything I can help you find?” If yes, then go for it but be very aware of body language and verbal cues to go away. If no, then say something like “My name is Brad - just let me know if there’s anything I can do for you. Happy shopping!” Or whatever. Essentially, you MUST acknowledge their entrance to your store, and you MUST go the hell away immediately if they don’t ask for your help. Got it? Good. Then, if they leave without buying something, smile and say “Thanks for coming in!” or “Have a great day!” or “See you again soon!” or something with a smile. It’s not difficult, people. If you are annoying, you will not get any of my money ever, even if you’re the only one that carries what I want. I’ll drive 2 hours to the next closest city and give my money to someone less annoying.

I’m not usually rude (and I really wasn’t rude to “Brad” either - just snarky with a smile and I think he liked the challenge) and you don’t have to be to get what you want. But I sure can be when necessary. Especially when I’m pregnant or hormonal. And I will always go to the higher up person if I feel it’s necessary, right to the CEO or owner if it’s called for.

At the other end of the spectrum, I have been known to call and email higher ups to ensure that people who give good customer service and are incredibly un-annoying are recognized for it, and to send thank you notes to people who really make an impact.

What have your shopping experiences been like lately?