On a recent morning, we had a play date with friends at a fabulous local park. We were playing and visiting when a little boy showed up all alone in his Incredibles pajamas and some crocs. (I know.)

He was a cute little guy with long-ish blond curls. When he was on his way to the playground, all alone, past a large, dangerous & rocky lake, one of the women who was with us said “Oh, that kid’s here again. He’s always here alone. For the last year and a half we’ve been coming here and we’ve seen him almost every time and I’ve never seen an adult with him. He just wanders home whenever he feels like it. My mom knows their family. Mom is a C.A. and dad’s a chiropractor here in town.”

He immediately approached us and stood staring at us without a word. Being a teacher, I can’t ignore a child as my friends can so I said hello.

“Hi!” he replied. “My name’s Zach.”

“Hi Zach, how are you?”

“Good,” he said, “I live right over there.”

“Where are your parents, buddy?” I asked him.

“My mom’s at work and my dad’s at home.”

“Don’t you think you should have an adult with you? You know - in case you get hurt or fall in the lake or something…” I said, thinking maybe at the very least he’d repeat that to his parents at some point and they’d clue in.

He went on to play randomly with various children. At one point he was under the slide with our kids and I could see him talking to them and look occasionally over at us. I didn’t know what he was saying but my mommy-instinct combined with my teacher-instinct kicked in. “Zach,” I said, “You need to either use your best manners or stay away from the smaller kids please.”

“I’ll NEVER stay away from those kids!” he screamed at me.

“Oh yes you will if I say you will, kiddo. You have two choices - use your best manners or play elsewhere. Now.” Mommy off. Teacher on. If nobody else is going to discipline this kid, I sure will. Particularly if he’s playing with my son. Surprisingly his behaviour turned around for a little while. All the poor kid needs are some boundaries. And supervision.

I wasn’t sure how to handle the situation with Primo. Luckily, he just moved on and played with his buddies again, but had he pursued playing with Zach, I would have wanted to say something to the effect of “We don’t play with children like that. We choose friends who have manners and respect other people.” I don’t know what I would have said. I want to teach my children while they’re young that they have the power to make choices but I also want to make some choices for them because it’s easier.

A few minutes later, he announced that he was going home (again, past a large, dangerous & rocky lake), and looked right at our group of moms on the grass when he pointed at the playground and said “You guys had better NOT wreck this park.”

“We won’t, Pal, but it’s not yours.”

“Yes it is. My mom made it and you better not wreck it.”

“It’s not yours.” I so can’t keep my mouth shut with this kid. It’s my duty to teach him something. Heh. “It belongs to everyone, but we won’t wreck it so don’t worry. Why don’t you go home and ask your dad to come back and play with you?”

He came back not long after he got home - alone again - but played much better than he had the first time. Unfortunately, when I look into the future I see a child that’s going to be a little fart when he gets to school because he’s had relatively little parenting and will be screaming for attention. These are the kids that need the love of a teacher even more than the kids of parents like us, and now that I’m a mother I hope that I’ll recognize those needs in my students to an even greater extent than I did before. Before I was a parent, I loved children and respected their individuality and was the best teacher I knew how to be. Now, I am all that but they’re also all somebody’s baby. Somebody’s world. Somebody’s heart walking outside their body. Even this little guy - a child of two educated professionals who should have a lot more common sense - is likely the light of their life.

I want to call child welfare, though I know they won’t do anything about it. I want it to be on file in case something ever does happen. It’s neglect, pure and simple. I’d like to give his parents the benefit of the doubt. Maybe his dad was washing dishes and could see him out the kitchen window? Even so, if he were to fall and hit his head on a rock, he could be dead in the lake before his dad could get there or perhaps before he even noticed.

Would you call child welfare to report the lack of supervision? What, if anything, would you have said to Zach? To Primo?

Everyday things I want to remember…

~The way Bella smiles at me first thing in the morning. She’s always so happy just to be alive.

~The sometimes annoying middle of the night cuddle sessions when Primo’s teeth hurt. No matter how hard it is to get up, it’s wonderful to have that time to just snuggle. It’s the only time he really stays still for more than a few seconds at a time. I want to remember the way he holds my arm to make sure I don’t sneak out, the way he combs through my hair with his little fingers just like he’s stroking his stuffed animals and the way he grabs my face with his warm little hands and says “Mommy, sing.”

~The look of sheer joy Bella gets on her face when she’s bouncing in her bouncy chair. Man, can she move!

~The way that Primo, every time he sees a phone, demands to “Phone Gapa Jack!” or “Phone Gama Betty!”

~The sound of Bella blowing her first bubbles and covering herself in drool.

~The excitement of throwing something in the garbage for Primo. “Primo fwow a gawbage!”

~The sound of Primo’s sweet voice talking to me all day. Especially “‘I luhyousomuch, Mommy.”

~The way Bella looks at her big brother with such awe. He can make her smile just by looking at her.

~The way he makes silly noises and faces at her just to make her happy, and then declares “Bella LIKES it!”

~The way Primo yells at the Big Guy down the basement…”Hellooooo! Daddyyyyyy! Naaaame!”

~The spontaneous hugs and kisses we all get, just because, and the way he says “Hugga Daddy.”

As I sit and type this I’m sad about the things I’ve already forgotten. This whole parenting-circle-of-life stuff isn’t easy on the emotions, is it?

~The way Primo dances with abandon to any music he hears, whether on the stereo, over the speakers at a store or from an annoying toy.

~The way he says “sake-a-bootie” when he feels like dancing when there’s no music on.

~The feel of the nape of Bella’s neck on my lips when I kiss it. So soft, with a little roll of chub. Just above it, there’s a rough patch where her hair is finally growing in. There isn’t enough time to kiss her!

~The way Primo asks for a “hunded kisses” and then we count to 100 by tens as I smooch all over his face.

~The way Bella’s gorgeous brown eyes light up from the inside each time she smiles her gorgeous big toothless grin.

~The way Primo sings “Ode McDonad had a fawm, E-I-E-I-Oooooo. On dat fawm he had a pig/daddy/blind/ceiling (or whatever pops into his head), E-I-E-I-Oooooo.”

~The way Bella looks me in the eye while she’s nursing. Sometimes she smiles and I can see her little tongue still working away to draw her milk out. Making milk is my superpower.

~The way she kneads my shirt, wrings her hands, and pulls my hair while she nurses.

~The way Primo runs out of his bedroom every evening after bath time to show the parent who didn’t bathe him his pajamas. He runs out with such excitement! He rubs his hands on his shirt and says “Hockey shirt!” and his pants and says “Hockey pants!” “Show Mommy!” and then bounces away for one last play before bed.

~The soft and chunky feel of Bella’s cheeks as I squish my lips and nose into them and the way she leans into me with a grin so I’ll keep going.

~The way Primo demands “Have it!” or “Primo wants it” when he wants something. Then, when I just look at him, he changes it to “Have it peez, Mommy.”

~The way Primo gets so excited whenever we’re going anywhere. It’s all routine stuff and we go out pretty much every day, but he’s excited even to go to Safeway (”see the coffee guy!), Caw-Co (Costco) or “War-mit” (Wal-Mart). He especially loves it when we’re going to a friend’s house or to meet friends to shop, and talks about his friend(s) all the way there.

~The way it feels to be a stay at home mom to two little kids who are just 20 months apart. Many people, including us, thought it was a little too close but it couldn’t have been better. There has been no jealousy, very few problems and more love that we could ever have hoped for. We are infinitely blessed.

What do you want to remember?

I was at the mall a few days ago - just me and the kids - and was feeding Primo some organic cookies and milk while we sang songs. I was pointing out things like signs that try to get kids to spend more money, licensed character items that are fun but give money to the wrong people, things that are recyclable, things that could potentially have lead, BPA or other toxins in them and other things that we talk about in our family on a regular basis.

Yes, he’s only two, but it’s normal conversation for him.

I didn’t notice the petite lady following us through the stores until she spoke.

She said,

“I’ve been walking behind you for several minutes now and I hope you don’t mind my commenting on your parenting. I can tell from watching you that you are a very loving and conscientious mother. Your son is so smart and your children are lucky to have such a great role model. I bet you didn’t circumcise him either. Did you?”

I smiled, giggled a little, said “Thank you very much, and no, we didn’t.”

I was a little flattered and a little weirded out.

I’m pretty sure that’s the only time a stranger has commented on or asked about my kid’s penis.

What’s the weirdest thing a stranger has ever talked to you about?

While we’re on the subject, I’ve re-opened comments on this post, just for shits n’ giggles.

Comments are now closed on the kiddie naming contest. The Big Guy and I will deliberate and get back to you. Thanks to all who entered!

My poor little nameless boy has gone from four months of cutting eye teeth directly into the two year molar. I’ve seriously never met a kid who’s teeth hurt so much. He’s up for hours every night in pain and has literally devoured his headboard. It got so bad he was spitting wood chunks onto the floor so I covered it with many layers of duct tape. So he spent a week spitting duct tape onto the floor and is now down to the wood again. Even the heaviest of pediatric OTC drugs don’t work for him. The homeopathic ones don’t touch it. I sure hope his are through before the little girl starts teething!

I have got to take a picture of that headboard. It’s ridiculous.

We took our weekly cruise around Costco today with friends & their kids. Then we were stupid or delusional enough to think that taking three toddlers and three babies with only three moms to a restaurant for lunch was a good idea. Duh. It was actually fun, but the boy’s mouth was so sore and he was so overtired that he was a bit of a crankpot by the end. The girl slept all morning while my boobs were bursting at the seams and then, as Murphy’s Law states she would, she woke up hungry just as the boy’s food arrived. Thank God I had friends there who could help him while I fed her. It was a gong show, but a fun gong show with friends in the same situation so it’s all good.

There was a couple in their mid-fifties or so at a table not far away with a girl in her late teens or early twenties. I saw them looking at us often and didn’t have time to try to read the expressions on their faces, what with the aforementioned gong show happening all around me. Nor did I care if they didn’t like me nursing my baby at the table (quite possible flashing a boob while I tried to stab pancakes with the boy’s fork, but probably not). When they were about to leave the restaurant, the mother came over to our table and asked if she could speak with us. We, of course, said yes. She told us that we all looked like wonderful young mothers and that when she saw my daughter latch on to my breast so readily it brought back great memories for her. She said it was so nice to see us all out together and she was really glad we were doing it because it goes so quickly and we must enjoy it. She was there taking her youngest daughter to lunch. She’s currently in college and was once the tiny baby nursing in a restaurant.

I hope some nice lady was as encouraging to her as this woman was to us. The next time you see a young mother nursing or just mothering well in public, please compliment her. It feels awesome.

Oh my God! My daughter is a week old and I am still not even unpacked from the hospital. Every day I think “I have to blog this!” and then it’s 1 am and I fall in to bed crying from exhaustion. Sorry for the crappy blogging but here’s the best I can do for an update for now…in no particular order because my brain is not yet capable of order.

-We had our 1 week well visit today and the girl has surpassed her birth weight by 3 full oz. Apparently I make breastcream. She’s 50th percentile for weight and head circumference and 95th percentile for height. Another child with the BG’s body type. Lucky kid.

-My left nipple is scabbed over and hurts like a mofo. She has latched well from the beginning and I think I got over confident in latching her in the dark. The BG bought me a nipple shield (which the boy has now lost…) and she wouldn’t go near it. How are they supposed to work? Today I pumped once to give that side a break and will again in the evening. Also using lanolin and air drying whenever I can. Any other tips? She sucks her bottom lip in and doesn’t fish lip like she should but I don’t know how to fix that. Help? The right side latch looks the same but doesn’t hurt.

-I am a postpartum hormonal mess occasionally (read: “Overwhelmed Psycho Bitch From Hell”) and my good old bubbly self the rest of the time. I forgot about that part. I cry at the drop of a hat over nothing but feel normal 95% of the time so it’s all good, right?

-I went the the mall two days post-cesarean because the girl? She has no clothes! There are lots coming but she needed a few outfits to get her over the next few weeks. Apparently I love pink, purple & yellow just as much as I love blue, orange & lime green. God, my kids are fun to shop for. It’s a good thing it hurts to walk or I’d shop all day long!

-We have another baby group going (started as a pregnant group actually when we all went on leave again) and there was a baby girl born 3 weeks before the girl, a baby boy born 2 days before the girl, a baby boy born 3 days after the girl and there are several more on the way. I hosted the first post-birth group yesterday and it was fantastic to have a houseful of moms, toddlers and babies. Thank God the BG was still on holidays to help with the boy, though. And another friend brought her husband too. It was great to feel surrounded by people. I’m SO not a recover alone in silence kind of girl. I HATE when people say “I won’t come over because you need to rest.” Just come, already. I need people around all the time and get lonely easily so I’m really glad we have that group once a week because it can make up for the other days.

-I hope to do a post all about the boy’s reaction to the girl coming home. It’s adorable. And sometimes scary. But mostly? It’s adorable and deserves a space all it’s own.

-The BG has 2 more weeks off to help me…thank God for him…and then I’m on my own. He had actually taken 6 weeks but 3 were gone before the girl made her appearance so it’s been cut in half. I’m kind of scared to take both kids out alone because the boy is still in the “hold me or I’ll run away and get hit by a car” phase and she, obviously, needs to be held. How do I do that exactly? We got a stand & ride stroller but it doesn’t accept our carseat so we can’t use it until she’s old enough to sit upright in the front so he can sit in back. So, do I have to stay home until August?

-I’ll leave you with the product of a photo shoot I did when the girl was 4 days old. God, I love my new lens! Please excuse the crappy watermark. Photoshop isn’t working on my laptop and I couldn’t get downstairs so I just used Paint to plaster something on. I’ve been finding my pictures on various other blogs so plan to start watermarking most of my images.