NO! That’s not a hose; It’s a penis!

Just testing…upgraded to Wordpress 2.8

The Big Guy and Primo are out shopping. They’re looking for a Spiderman foam chair to accompany Bella’s princess one. (God help me with the foam licensed characters, but I got the pink one used for $5 so I couldnt’ resist.)

I just got back from a lovely walk in the park with our two dogs and Bella. While we were out, I gave her a lesson in puddle stomping. The first time I told her “It’s okay – you have rain boots on. Just stomp it!” she took one step in, looked at me like I was insane and said “No.” At the second puddle, she stomped a couple of times with a smile, and then said “No.” At the third puddle, we stomped for at least ten minuted and giggled the entire time (as the dogs waited rather impatiently to continue their walk.)

Now THAT is what a rainy Saturday should be like.

And the pictures in my memory will have to suffice.

Single parenting.
Please let’s sleep through the WHOLE night.
No help. It’s all me.

I need eight hours.
Three just simply will not do.
Many days of that.

A few isn’t bad
But I can’t take another.
Need a reprieve, please.

Stop writing haiku
and get the hell to bed? Huh?
That makes too much sense.

It’s almost midnight.
Trying to order pictures.
Not working so well.

Storyboards of kids.
Can’t wait to see them in print.
Feeling like never.

Should be in my bed.
Kids up almost all night long.
Eyelids falling shut.

Too stubborn to go.
Can’t stop until it’s all done.
PVR will help.

Do you ever feel like there are hundreds of things on your to do list that will just never get done?

Tell me about it – make me feel better.

If you set it free in comments; release it to the universe; you’ll feel better too.

We spent the weekend with my Mom, and my husband stayed there an extra night without us since he’s working in that area today. It saves him two hours of driving in the morning and will hopefully get him home an hour earlier tonight.

So, that’s great.

Except I came home with a fever & plugged ears and couldn’t swallow, and had to single parent.

That? Is not great.

Bathing the kids last night almost did me in. Bending over was okay, but the getting up after almost made me pass out every time. They were decently behaved, thank God, and were both asleep well before 7:30 so I got to relax a little. Generally when the BG’s away I work the night away on photo edits or blogging but last night I sat on the couch for 45 minutes and then fell in to bed. A wasted evening, but I feel much better today.

The drugs certainly help.

I was a little nervous about caring for four kids today, but so far so good.

Next weekend, I get a Mother’s Day do-over. I can hardly wait to sleep in!

Enough haiku already, no?

It’s a little addicting, actually. Don’t be shocked if you see a little more of it. If I could have written more poetry that didn’t have to rhyme in school, I would have done much better in the poetry units.

So, it’s not haiku…but it IS poo. Yay!

This morning we went to a friend’s place for a playdate and, at one point, Primo and one of her kids were a little too quiet (and you know what I mean, parents) so my friend went to take a peek. She came out with a snicker and said “You might want to come take a look at this. It’s not really bad, but you need to have a peek!”

I turned the corner in to her spare room , in which she stores a variety of baby items left over from her twins that her newborn has yet to grow into, and there stood my boy, naked from the waist down, beside a Bumbo chair. Inside the Bumbo? A huge pile of shit.

Poor kid thought it was a potty.

Incidentally, he hasn’t used an actual potty in almost a year. He uses the toilet and wipes his own butt, so I have no idea what he was thinking. I burst out laughing and could see that he didn’t think it was very funny. I tried to fight the laughter, but it was pretty darn hard! He hopped up onto the toilet to finish and said “That’s not a potty?” I felt horrible for laughing at the situation and hope he doesn’t think I was laughing at him.

I think he’s over it, but it’s a story I’ll never forget.

April 11, 2009

Dear Bella,

It’s been three months since I last wrote you a letter and you have changed so much.

You’re an active little girl. You can run fast enough to keep up with Primo and his buddies (though it’s still that adorable bouncy, side-to-side baby run that I love) and you love to be chased, climb up on anything and play on the playgrounds in our back yard and in local parks. Thank God you have a little bit of fear so you don’t dive off edges (yet) and wait for me to help you down, which is nice when I’m trying to play with two children at the same time.

You’re a talker! You learn from the best as your brother and I talk all day long. I can’t even count how many words you say, so I’ll attempt to make a list:

Hi
Bye
Mommy
Daddy
Wah Wah (Primo’s name)
Thai
Mathi/Masi (Mavi)
Co-ee (Chloe)
puppy
dog
cat
ooth (earth – sooo cute!)
guy
fidz (fridge)
dis (this?)
dat (that?)
coat
soos (shoes)
sock
foot
knee
eye
nose
eeee (ear)
dzees (cheese)
muk (milk, accompanied by sign but sign is diminishing)
pees (please, accompanied by sign)
ba-ow (ball)
bath
tub
teeth
mouth
bock (block)
buk (book)
up
off (which also means on, open and close)
out
appoo (apple)
appuh (open)
audey (laundry)
dooty (dirty)
mess/messy
pitty (pretty)
You count with Mommy “uh, two, sree, fuh, fuf, sis, setee, it, nie, tie! Yaaayyyyy!” and you always clap for yourself. (In fact, you clap and cheer for me every time I count too!)
bockie (broccoli)
owie/ow
baby
pants
mo (more, with sign)
fow-ah (flower)
bwu-dah (brother)
si-tah (sister)
boy
gool (girl)
pawk (park)
walk
side (slide)
moo
cow
sit (generally when you’re telling me to sit in the lazyboy because you want to nurse)
no (or, rather, NOOOOOOOOOO!)
Nike (which you learned to read off of my t-shirt just today)
sorry – sign only

I’m sure there are more, but that’s what comes to mind for now. Well over 60 words anyway, which is stunning for a 15 month old child, and you’re learning new ones every day. Obviously, you’re completely amazing. As if there were any doubt. You recognize a few numbers (3, 8, 9) and a few letters (o, x, i) and point them out everywhere you see them. Imagine the surprise on the face of the people standing near us in the huge line at Save-On for 15% Tuesday when a baby points up to aisle nine and shouts “Nine! Mommy! Nine!” It was fantastic.

You can point to your head, hair, eyes, ears, mouth, chest, tummy, knees, back, bum, feet, toes, legs, arms, and elbows. Your neck still confuses you and you think it’s your chest, but I don’t think that’s a huge concern at this point. Perhaps there’s a rare condition called “neck displacement disorder?”

Things you love: Primo, Daddy, Mommy, our animal family, Grandma Betty (who you point to on the wall and ask “Please!” on a regular basis), brushing your teeth, climbing up on the big bathroom stool all by yourself, putting your own clothes in the laundry basket, putting your dirty diaper in the garbage, crawling up the stairs and running away so someone will chase you, being chased anytime & anywhere, walking outside, playing in the back yard, playgrounds, rolling the ball back and forth with Mommy, having Daddy all to yourself on Saturday mornings when Primo & Mommy go to his music class, when Daddy comes home from work, when Primo wakes up in the morning, jumping on Primo’s bed, sitting with Primo on the couch to roll around or read books, pretty much anything to do with Primo, and also anything to do with Daddy, cheese, broccoli, dry Nature’s Path corn flakes, dry cheerios, Lara bars, cheddar bunnies, milk, smoothies, nursing, playing peek a boo, rubbing the dogs’ backs, trying to pet Chloe without her swatting you, anything chocolate, anything Primo will share with you, cucumber, carrots, apples, mandarin oranges, mangoes, rice, noodles, feeding Mavi dog food piece by piece, dumping the dogs’ water all over the floor, having a bath, being carried, emulating anything Primo does (good or not-so-good), going to bed (when you’re healthy & your teeth don’t hurt – the rest of the time you just sleep with me)

Things you’re not so fond of: Getting new teeth, bananas (sometimes), avocados, being alone, not having full access to the boobage (you may, in face, go to kindergarten nursing), when someone leaves the house without you, when someone has something you don’t or can’t have – particularly your brother – and you generally just try to take it, being told ‘no,’ waiting, being restrained when you want to run, and not getting your own way.

Hmmm, more and more it seems like you take after your mother. I like to blame it on Grandpa Jack – he was stubborn too. It will serve you well throughout your life, but can certainly make for a parenting challenge. That’s one of many reasons why I am reading so many parenting books about raising sibling without rivalry, raising daughters in the face of worldwide early sexualization and so many more. Like Grandma Betty’s Aunt Elsie once said about me, “No man is ever going to take advantage of you.” You can hold your own with all of Primo’s friends, even when they’re all here at the same time, but you’re still very much a girlie girl who loves her babies and purses.

I can’t describe how wonderful it is to have a daughter to love – someone I can relate to in a very unique way. You are a precious, precious little girl and may you never forget it. Goodness knows you’ll hear it often enough.

Of all the little girls in the whole wide world, I got the very best one.

Love, Mommy
xoxoxo

We’re really trying to raise aware people with a conscience.

The twenty year old girl who made this video must have had parents who did one hell of a job.

(Hat tip to Helen.)

This morning while the kids were having their snack, I emptied two boxes in our office that have been sitting on the floor for a while.

Like, since we moved in.

Two years ago.

I should be embarrassed, but I’m just so damn glad they’re gone.

As I mentioned, Primo learned how to open doors with the “childproof” doorknob covers a little while ago.

We endured several days of him not falling asleep until 9 pm. He climbed every gate we put in his doorway. He turned his light on and read books. He thought it was absolutely hilarious. (It wasn’t.)

For the last three nights, thank the sweet bejeebus, he has stayed in his bed (after a few bathroom trips, usually) as long as we leave his door ajar and peek in every few minutes to let him know how proud we are of him for staying in bed and that we love him. (To which he replies, “Yah! You are! And I love you so much too!”)

Now he’s sleeping by 7:30, which is great.

But he’s decided that 6:30 is a great time to wake up.

There’s always something.

I’m blogging this at nearly midnight after enjoying a lovely glass of wine with a couple of girlfriends. We have a dinner club that meets approximately every couple of months and recently decided that the girls need to get together before for a “planning night.” Which is really just an excuse to drink wine and get out of the house. Hey, whatever works. I feel better than I have all week just having that break.

It’s been a great day, actually. My sister (in law) was here overnight and joined Primo and I for Kindermusik this morning and then we went out for lunch (after ditching the kids with the huz for their nap/quiet time) and she took me shopping to pick out my own birthday present. I totally recommend that method of shopping. It was great! I got a new clear silicone spatula (no colourings to leach in to food), new baking sheets and a cookie scoop I’ve wanted for a while. Then she bought us some shiraz-blackberry-chocolate sauce on a whim when we hit a cool little local shop. Can’t wait to try it on baked pears. Mmmmm.

We’ve had a few milestones this weekend:

Primo conquered the last of his nemeses…the child safe doorknob cover. It was the only thing keeping him in his room at night and at quiet time. So how the hell do the rest of you get your kids to stay in their room without duct tape?

Bella said ‘I love you’ for the first time tonight. “Wuffoo!” (That smooshing sound? Me melting.) She also said a two word sentence with no signs that didn’t involve food or sign language. “Mommy…pretty!” As if that weren’t enough, she even rubbed my cheek as she said it, and then kissed me with a big baby open mouth.

I can’t believe how much she’s talking for only 14 1/2 months old. I just looked back at Primo’s vocab at 15 1/2 months and I think she’s learning from the pro. She may even talk a little more, but most of it’s still just repeating after us. It’s tough to remember to never compare them…I have to work on that.

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I got tagged for this meme on facebook and am doing it here instead because I can’t follow directions. It’s just a mental block I have.
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My husband: is my best friend. (and is very tired. Poor guy.)

Maybe: I will win a lottery and not go back to work.

People would say that: I’m happy. And they’d be right!

I love: my family, more than anything in the world.

I don’t understand: people who suck.

When I wake up in the morning: it is because a child is screaming for me. I don’t get out of bed just for kicks.

I lost: one out of every pair of earrings that I really liked. I need new earrings.

My life is full of: love & laughter. And lots of coffee. And some screaming.

My past taught me: that smart people like me learn from our mistakes instead of wasting time regretting them. That life is too short. That all that matters is love & laughter.

I get annoyed when: it’s a day of the week that ends in ‘ay.’ I’m easily annoyed.

Parties are: fun and a great chance to catch up with old friends & meet new ones.

I wish: I had more money, and that I could see my mom more often.

Dogs: are annoying on every day that ends in ‘ay’ but I love them anyway. They’re my furbabies. Good thing they’re cute. Especially when I’m cleaning a pissy carpet.

Cats: are are super easy to care for & I’m so glad I have the chance to share my life with one.

Tomorrow: is a brand new day, and I’m going to enjoy it & appreciate it no matter what.

I have low tolerance: for stupidity & lack of common sense. And laziness. And procrastination. And unmotivated people. And…

If I had a million dollars: I would pay off our mortgage, invest wisely and never “work” again.

I’m totally terrified: of losing the people I love, or dying and leaving my babies.

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Let me know if you do this so I can come read it!
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Like rice krispie squares, but with more fiber. A nice change from the norm.

1. Melt 1/4 cup butter in a large-ish pot. (Why do they call it a saucepan in recipes?)

2. Add 40 large marshmallows & stir on medium low heat until completely melted.

3. Stir in 1/2 teaspoon of good vanilla. If you only have crappy vanilla, skip it.

4. Stir in ~6 cups of cheerios until evenly coated. If you like your squares crunchier, add more. If you like them chewier, add a little less.

5. Dump into a greased 13×9 pan. Dampen your hands with warm water or spray them with an oil spray lightly, & use them to press the cheerio mixture firmly into the pan. Let cool, cut into squares & eat.

6. Optional: Melt a bag of chocolate chips over a double boiler or in two 30 second intervals in the microwave, stirring in between. Pour over top & let harden before cutting.

Yum-o!

Nothing healthy about it other than the increased fiber over the traditional r.k. squares, but they’re good in moderation.

Just moments ago, my baby girl walked up to me, gave me a hug and said “Appy bootay!”

This is a good day.

Seriously you guys, I have so much going on right now. Some of it is even publishable online.

For example, I could tell you about how last night Primo read me 14 grade one level books and only needed help on two words.

Or I could tell you about the Tuesday night I spent sleeping sitting & rocking Bella in the Lazyboy because her snot prevented her from lying flat.

Or I could tell you about the fantabulous new cart cover I just got to replace the one I’ve been using since Primo learned to sit, and how both of my kids can now sit in the front of the cart at Costco and eat snacks without figuratively licking someone else’s ass. And you can get one too – I have a discount code.

Or I could tell you about the delicious use I found for leftover oatmeal. Mmmmm.

Or I could tell you about the pasta dish I made the other night that tasted like a ton of work & looked gourmet, but really took about 10 minutes.

Or I could tell you that it’s almost my birthday and all I want is a million dollars. I’m easy to please.

Or I could tell you about the amazing-almost-too-good-to-be-true dayhome that we’ve found for the kids for when I go back to work and why the big guy is taking a month off of work when I go back. Yes, someone exists that meets my standards! (Other than my husband, even!)

Or I could tell you about giving up sugar for lent, and then forgetting it was still lent and making some delicious chewy cheerio squares that you should totally make.

Or I could tell you about the yoga class I taught yesterday that felt SO good, and why I was a little apprehensive about what Primo might say while I was teaching.

Or I could tell you about a cool Canadian product I found that allows you to have a playground in your house in just a six foot corner. I’d have one if I had a corner. Instead I’m going to put one of their trapezes in my back yard when we rebuild our deck.

Instead, though, I’ll just let you tell me what you’d like me to expand on. What would you like to know a little more detail about? Anything? Nothing?

Until then, happy Friday!