So, my kids? They are happy. So happy, in fact, that they radiate gooey sticky sugary waves of sparkling sunsine. Or something like that.

And I? Have ten more comment sections to go and I’ll be done my report cards. A week early, thank you very much.

I’ve worked full time, done crafts, read a gajillion stories, watched Super Why ad nauseum, cuddled, tickled, kissed, sang, been the soccer mom, been the swimming mom, decorated the house for Halloween, packed all of that away, decorate the house for Christmas, hung out with my husband, prepared for the conference I’m presenting at this week (Out of town! Bringing my husband! Leaving my kids with my mom! Free date! First time ever!), cooked meals & kept two deep freezers full, baked cookies, baked muffins, stayed (almost) caught up on the laundry (but not the putting away thereof), and a little of this and a little of that. And we’re all happy. And it’s all good.

How long until this comes crashing down on me?

We’re six weeks in to the whole working full time & dayhome thing and things are finally going well. The kids have loved their sitter from the start but Primo hates not being with me all day. (Bella couldn’t care less.) I had a rough time with the transition too, and it took me a month to not hate dropping my kids off every day. I’d still rather be home, but it’s smooth now and we’re all happy. Finally.

But now? I can’t swallow, I have swollen glands, my ears are plugged, my muscles ache, my skin hurts and I think I might have a slight fever.

And? My desk is a mess, my classroom is disorganized, I have no sub plans and it takes me three hours to make a day of plans.

Guess who’s going to work tomorrow bathed in Cleanwell?

Actually, the weeks take forever because I’m just waiting for weekends with my family, but the weeks of not blogging go by very quickly.

Work is going great. I have a great job, a great group of kids and an awesome grade one team to work with. The kids are loving their childcare provider and come home with crafts, stories and big smiles when I drag them out of her house.

And I got my first paycheck last week and paid off my Visa! So, it’s all good.

I wish I had a job without homework and evening obligations, but I’ll take what I can get. So far I’ve only attended one of the evening obligations (Meet the Teacher night) and left early so I could put my kids to bed so it wasn’t bad. Just missed a little play time, which I hate but can deal with. Last night was a staff social activity which I gladly skipped to be with my kids (we didn’t know when the BG would be home from work so I couldn’t commit) and it turned out great because I fell asleep with Primo while putting him to bed and had a 2 hour nap!

Today is a PD day (on blogging of all things…useless much? I only have three blogs.) and then…

IT’S THE WEEKEND!

We’re doing the big grocery shop of the week, buying shin pads for Primo’s first soccer season that begins next week, swimming lessons, family photos at the local Corn Maze with friends, playing at home and hitting a playground or two…just run of the mill weekend stuff!

Any big plans on your end?

Ugh. I’m dragging my butt to school to finish my prep & take in a few meetings before the students arrive Monday. Last night as we were headed to bed at 11, Bella woke up and needed Advil and to come to bed with us. We’re all hurting this morning. In fact, the Big Guy is still “sleeping” with Primo so I’m hanging out here a little late so they can keep sleeping. At least, I hope he’s sleeping. His sleeping sucks so if Primo’s tossing at all or the moon is in the wrong position he’ll just be lying there wishing he was sleeping.

Anyhoo, I’m just about ready to start the year. I’ve had a former student in helping me with small jobs for several days and have an awesomely fabulous assistant this year for a very high needs student in my room so she’s been able to help out as well. My grade one teaching team is wickedly fabulous so it’s going to be a great year – except for the fact that I don’t want to be there.

When I work, I eat on a 6 year old’s schedule. I have breakfast, recess snack, lunch, recess snack and then come home for supper with my family. This year I am determined to pack my food at least 80% as healthy as my kids’ food. (If I ate as healthy as they do 100% of the time, I’d weigh 50 lbs less!) I always eat healthy as long as there’s good food in the house, but if there’s only enough left for the kids then I end up with a box of crackers and a handful of chocolate chips.

So far, I’ve been able to pack the fruits, veggies, hummus, wraps etc no problem, but the kids have been at home with the big guy. I’m not even packing for anyone else and I’m still not ready for bed until 11 pm! By the time the kids are in bed, dinner’s cleaned up, the dogs are walked, lunches are made and I’m showered, there’s no time for anything else. Not even important things like blogging!

Starting tomorrow I have three days of meetings and workshops and the students begin full time on Monday. I’m ready and feeling a little of the usual back-to-school excitement but there are definitely mixed feelings. Not to belabour the issue, but I’d rather be at home. Have I mentioned that? Though it’s really a small fraction of my day, I do spend some time pretending I like people that I’d actually love to kick in the face and more time feeling like people are only pretending that they like me because they have to since I work there but could really care less if I get hit by a bus. The actual work and the students? I love. The only thing that really matters is my family and I will spend all day every day working to take care of them and counting the minutes until I’m with them again. I’d rather be at home.

There, I’m done now.

So, anyway, I have three half-hour long prep periods each week to get about 10 hours of work done because I’m not working any evenings or weekends anymore unless the kids are there with me doing crafts & other fun stuff with the Big Guy, so I have no choice but to work through my lunches too. I need foods that I can eat cold while sitting at my desk or while standing at a photocopier. While I do love my plain old fruits & veggies & hummus & breads, I’m open to suggestions. I want to invest in some well-sealing bento stuff for all of us over the next few months and that will surely open up the possibilities since one of the things I struggle with is fitting all of my fresh food into my ultra-cute & stylish lunch bag. Ideas? Anyone ever made roasted chickpeas for snacks? Is there a trick or should I just jump right into it?

Win some books here.

Win some yummy organic foods here.

D-Day has arrived.
Back to work in the morning.
Kids are home with Dad.

All for the pension.
Really don’t want to go back
Yet. Want to stay home.

It will be a month
Until I get a paycheque.
Have benefits though.

So, that’s something right?
I can get a massage now!
Love me a massage.

Kids love their dayhome.
Trying to be positive.
We will all be fine.

I’m leaving for my mom’s today for a week or so with the kids. I’m still plugging away at cleaning and organizing stuff that was my dad’s and getting rid of chemicals etc that my mom would never use. Some exciting trips to the landfill & toxic waste disposal are in store.

Once I get back, we have a day trip to the zoo, one day of playdates (one at the babysitters and one at a friend’s house) and then I’m back to work full time. Ack! I am SO NOT READY. Normally I’d have a freezer full of meals prepared but we haven’t had money to buy any extra groceries so I have absolutely nothing prepared. I’ve bought all of the kids supplies so they’re ready (and so excited, contrary to myself) but I haven’t been to the school once or even checked my email. I have nothing ready. Nada. This from the type A completely anal teacher of the past who spent the whole summer at school to get ready for fall. This time I’m flying by the seat of my pants. Getting to school at 8:15 and leaving at 3:31 (noon on Fridays), and not spending a minute of my children’s awake time on work – school, house, blog or otherwise.

I have a bit of a panic attack when I think about going back, but since we’re now using the line of credit for things like feeding the kids, I know it’s definitely time. They will be 100% fine and are going to what I think will be the most fabulous dayhome of all time (better than home, maybe, but I hate to admit it) but I’d still rather them be with me. Even if it was half time it would be better, but my school district frowns upon that and wouldn’t give it to me. It costs them too much money to pay benefits for two teachers. Blech. It’s always about the money, isn’t it?

Anyway, I’m just going to thoroughly enjoy my last 12 days as a stay at home mom and not think about going back until I actually walk in the door. Three and a half years at home is better than many people get so I’m trying to just count my blessings and quit bitching. It’s not easy.

We’re slowly beginning the quest for childcare for the fall when I return to teaching. I am NOT happy about it, but there’s this thing called a pension that is calling me back to work even though I’d rather be with my own children until they’re in school. Gotta think long term, especially in this economy. Blech.

Anyway, we had our first interview this week with a childcare provider, and it was brutal. We have a formal interview that we do (5 pages…let me know if you’re looking for care and you want it – it worked really well) and she did okay, but my mommy antennae were vibrating from the get go. So were the big guy’s daddy antennae.

She’s brand new, opened just this year, and has put a lot of work into getting “officially” ready including the preparation of a website and paperwork. Our first bell went up when we looked at her site and saw directions to her house and pictures of some of the children. Let’s just shout: “Hello, pedophiles! Hello kidnappers! Cute children here without their parents!” Holy crap. Everything else looked good, though, so we decided to pursue the interview with her. She just lives a 3 minute drive from us so it would have been convenient.

Earlier in the day that we were going to interview her, I went for a run and ran by her house. In the driveway was a rusty old car that was dirty inside. Strike two. I’m a snob, and if you can’t afford a car that looks like it runs, you probably have dirty old crappy toys and lower standards than I’d accept for my child.

We still went for the interview, though, just to get the first one over with.

She greeted us at the door, and the first thing we both noticed was that she’s a mumbler. No person that will be modeling speaking for my child will be a mumbler. When Primo didn’t say hello to her when I asked him to (which is weird for him), she stared at him blankly. Any person who knows children would have been at his level introducing themselves. Strike three. You’re out.

Still, it felt rude to cancel the interview upon walking in the door so onward and upward downward we went..

Neither of her children said a word while ee were there. They’re the same age as my kids. That’s not normal. Sure, mine were early talkers but most kids I know enver shut up – particularly in their own home. Strike.

While the Big Guy was playing with our children, he was looking around the house. The exersaucer was full of food and there was a bunch of old food under it. That happens – I get it…but she knew we were coming and didn’t clean it. And it was just her and her own kids all day, so she could have if she’d had cleanliness as a priority.

She did quite well when it came to rote answering the questions…”I clean the toys once a week and many of them once a day.” [Not. Obv.]

When asked more probing questions, though, she had no idea what I was talking about. She had no idea how time outs were supposed to be done, other than the “1 minute per year of age” that even my imaginary pet monkey knows. She’s never even heard of Barbara Coloroso or 1-2-3 Magic or…so many more things I asked about. The lack of evidence of any early childhood education was astounding. FYI, breeding does not qualify you for childcare.

My feeling? She can’t afford to pay for her own childcare because she has no education and can’t get a good job, so she’s opening a dayhome with no education, no experience and no clue what she’s getting herself in to. Our parent antennae are screaming NO.

She’s not with an accredited agency, which is totally fine and occasionally better, but when asked why she told us that she interviewed with the largest agency in town and they “wanted to take $150 right off the top and what they wanted would take way too long.” What we heard? “I am in this for the money and I don’t want to put any extra effort into it if I don’t have to.”

Yuck.

I know the perfect person is out there, and I’ll give up my career before my children will go anywhere that’s not perfect. We found her last time (you know, when I worked for all of two months between my children), and she retired. There’s got to be another one, right? At least I’ve got 5 months to look.